Tattlling or telling? Do your kids know the difference?

We work hard to make sure Taylor is a safe school. From time to time students act in ways which are unsafe or illegal or both. At times like these, we typically visit with students to gather more information about the incident be it a fight or threat of bullying. We are often thwarted because children have told it is not okay to “snitch” or be “a rat”. I try to explain to the student there is a difference between tattling and telling. A Time Magazine article explains:
“Tattling is telling on someone in order to get him in trouble. Telling is reporting about someone to get him help…Parents should bring up topics frequently but naturally, so kids learn that difficult subjects can be freely and easily discussed at home. With middle or high schoolers, parents need to avoid two danger zones: the "freak out" and the "big talk." Sixty-one percent of teens in the Kaiser study said they don't confide in their parents because they don't want to worry them. Parents need to demonstrate that they can listen to their kids without judging them and answer questions calmly and without lecturing. The car is a good place to talk with teens because it isn't too face to face. Parents shouldn't wait for their children to take the lead. Adults can use recent events as a jumping-off point but should talk about telling even when it isn't in the news. Once you urge your child to "tell," the burden is on you to believe him, and if he comes home with news of kids' talking about harming themselves or others, take it seriously, even if it is buried in an account of "I have a friend who knows a guy who overheard a kid in the locker room saying some stupid things." Kids also appreciate it when parents confide their own stories. If you dealt with issues such as violence and bullying as a teen, tell your kids about it. If it starts a conversation, your family could have had the "big talk" without anyone's even realizing it.”
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,999485,00.html#ixzz0zo0fggUc
Parenting is a tough job but teaching our children the difference between tattling and telling is as important as teaching the difference between right and wrong. There are a number of online resources to guide parents in your discussion with your kids about this topic. If you would like more help, contact our guidance staff.