The following article appeared in Backpack Mail exactly one year ago on September 29, 2010 - the eve of our introduction of Rachel’s Challenge. As I reread it, I realized it is so timely with the approach of October’s National Bullying Prevention Month.
The only time I have ever been physically hurt in my career as a principal was breaking up a girl-fight. It was a nasty hair-pulling, face-scratching affair on the last day of school. My assistant principal and I waded into the middle of it (actually, we attacked it from the outside so as to not get between the two fighters). I ended up spraining my wrist trying to pull them apart and my assistant got her foot stomped on. Chick-fights happen as often as guy-fights but often for different reasons. When guys fight, it is often territorial or because they got manipulated by “friends” into defending their honor. Girls also get manipulated but they are also susceptible to bullying. And this bullying can lead to fighting or worse. The following article by Christina Wood which appeared in “Edutopia” helps explain how female bullying works:
“Mean Girls”
“When girls bully, there may be no telltale bruises, but the damage is no less devastating to the victim. Just ask the tens of thousands of girls who are ostracized, ridiculed, and made to feel worthless every day by their peers. Bullying by girls -- often called relational bullying -- is social rather than physical. The bully organizes a group to shun or punish one girl. The victim's classmates, not wanting to be the target themselves, follow the bully's lead, even though they may actually like the girl being snubbed. "Adults often ignore this form of bullying or don't notice it,” says Erica Dauber, communications director for the Ophelia Project, which is dedicated to creating a safe emotional climate in schools. But this type of behavior is very common. "We see it from infancy to the retirement home," says Dauber. In kindergarten, a victim might be excluded from birthday parties. In middle school, she may be ridiculed and made to sit alone. In high school, the aggressor might spread rumors to isolate her target. At every age, it's traumatic for the victim. "It attacks basic self-esteem,” says Dauber. "We hear a lot of suicide stories about victims. Girls need to feel they belong. If they don't get that from their peers, they need caring adults to turn to so they won't feel like, 'I want to die.'" Independent filmmaker Roberta McMillan trained a camera on one case of relational bullying to show how damaging it can be when a girl feels she has nowhere to turn. "The bully doesn't see her victim as a person," says McMillan. "And she doesn't see the result of her actions." Rats and Bullies, McMillan's film, focuses on the tragedy of Dawn-Marie Wesley of Mission, British Columbia. The fourteen-year-old was relentlessly tormented by former friends, and in despair she hung herself in her bedroom. A suicide note named her bullies. The case led to a significant court decision that found two of the bullies guilty of "uttering threats." By interviewing Dawn-Marie's brother, who found her body, her parents, now divorced, Dawn-Marie's best friend, who carries the guilt of not "ratting," and one of the bullies, who "never meant it to go that far," the film demonstrates that for girls, the social world is often their entire world. Without help, many cannot see past it. -- Source: http://www.edutopia.org/fear-factor
We want to avoid what happened to Dawn-Marie at all costs. Our counselors are implementing an additional bully prevention program this year to help keep our students safe. If you feel your daughter (or son) is being bullied, speak up. Let a teacher or counselor or principal know what is happening. By telling an adult we can work together with the child to prevent violence. Please help us identify bullies so we can help prevent bullying at Taylor.
